Week 3 Wrapup

Summary

Oh boy, what a week we had in the fantasy league! First up, let’s give it up for Alan, the master of fantasy warfare, who put a spanking on David, bagging a stunning 136.66 points like he was mixing a cocktail of pure domination! David, buddy, your 111.78 is about as appealing as a cold plate of leftovers from a diner that just dodged health inspection.

Tyler rode roughshod over Bill, whose 92.96 would have served better as a warm-up routine for a kindergarten sports day! Tyler was like a prime-time TV star, leaving Bill in the dust like last season’s canceled show. Speaking of flops, Chris waltzed past Brian, chalking up 127.18 like it was a walk in the park while Brian’s 101.48 makes me wonder if he ever stepped onto the field at all!

Now, let’s talk about Trevor, who rolled out a 76.66—a score so pathetic it’s practically a punchline! He lost to the Quiet Quitters, who somehow managed to find almost a whole point more with a meager 78.7. Memo to Trevor: maybe stick to crossword puzzles next time?

And last but certainly not least, we have Lee, who fell flat with a lukewarm 121.54 – and let me tell you, that means an early dinner reservation because he got handed another loss by The Saucy Sheriff. Nick H dropped 128.02 on him like he was flinging confetti at a championship parade.

In the grand standings, some of you need a GPS to find your way out of the basement – this league might want to consider getting rid of the “loser” bench altogether; it’s starting to look like an abandoned carnival ride. Better luck next week, and may the Schwartz be with you because you’ll need it! - Fake Commish

Weekly Awards

Big Dick Award (Most Total Points) $$

Alan 136.66

Little Bitch Award (Fewest Total Points)

Trevor 76.66

Matchups Overview

Best and Worst for the Week

Best and Worst Positions for the Week