Summary

Ladies and gentlemen, what a glorious week we just witnessed! Trevor “Dixie Normous” has swooped in like a majestic eagle, soaring to a stunning 119.98 and leaving Chris “Fortes and Blounts” with nothing but a sad 101.06, like a kid who tried to bring his pet goldfish to a battle royale. Brian “Hugh’s Butt Dial” demonstrated more dominance than a five-star restaurant over a fast food joint, slamming Bill “The Mayor” into oblivion with a score of 137.4 to a pathetic 98.18 – Bill is probably going to put that on a war memorial for how badly he got wrecked!

And let’s take a moment to laugh at David “Eifert for the Bradys,” who floundered around like a fish out of water, stumbling to a dismal 91.14 as Lee “Let ‘em Breathe” effortlessly shoved his face in the dirt with a score of 122.76. Talk about embarrassing! There’s no hiding behind your momma’s apron strings now, David!

But wait, the exclamation point of this glorious week came from Alan “They Tookerrr Jobs,” clocking in at a jaw-dropping 172.42! If that’s not a mic drop, I don’t know what is. Poor Nick M “Quiet Quitters” was left contemplating his life decisions with a meager 100.9 – we’ve seen more action from a snail crossing the road! Lastly, Tyler “Joey Freshwater” thought he was riding the wave, only to find himself washed ashore as Nick H “The Saucy Sheriff” galloped to victory with 116.94 against his paltry 108.2.

Keep your heads down, losers; you’ve got a long way to go. You might want to consider changing your team names to “Maybe Next Year” because you clearly aren’t doing yourselves any favors out there! - Fake Commish


Weekly Awards

Big Dick Award (Most Total Points) $$

Alan 172.42

Little Bitch Award (Fewest Total Points)

David 91.14


Matchups Overview

Best and Worst for the Week

Category Owner
Most Points Scored: Alan
Least Points Scored: David
Best Possible Lineup: Alan
Best Lineup Setter Lee
Worst Lineup Setter Bill
Lucky Winners
Unlucky Losers

Best and Worst Positions for the Week

Category Owner
Best QBs: Trevor
Best RBs: Chris
Best WRs: Alan
Best TEs: Nick M
Best DST: Alan
Best K: Bill
Best Bench: Bill
Worst QBs: Lee
Worst RBs: Tyler
Worst WRs: Tyler
Worst TEs: Nick H
Worst DST: Bill
Worst K: Chris
Worst Bench: Lee