Week 6 Wrapup

Summary

What a hell of a week in the land of digital gladiators! Tyler, aka Joey Freshwater, absolutely splashed Brian’s hopes of victory down the drain with a score of 120.16. You know, Brian thought he was getting a solid start, but let’s be real, he scored like he was wearing concrete shoes and trying to swim in a kiddie pool! Baby, it’s time to hit the gym—I heard they have treadmills there!

In a tragically poetic showdown, Nick M, who apparently thought he was locked in for a win, scored an impressive 129.2 but still managed to lose to David, who squeaked by with 130.58. Nick, buddy, you were like the lead singer of a band nobody wanted to hear in the first place; you rose to fame only to drop the mic prematurely. I mean, what a classic tale of “close but no cigar!” Or in your case, “close but no trophy!”

Trevor’s Dixie Normous showed some heart as he edged out Bill—who should change his name to “The Mayor of Lossville”—by a mere handful of points. Come on, Bill, it’s almost like your team is playing freeze tag, except you’re it forever!

And in one of the week’s most dramatic nail-biters, Chris outlasted Lee by a hair. Seriously, 132.7 to 132.26? That’s like winning a marathon with a flip-flop on one foot. But hey, a win’s a win, and Lee is left picking up the scraps like a raccoon after a BBQ.

Lastly, Alan delivered a smackdown of epic proportions against Nick H, who looked like he forgot the game was on and scored only 84.2 points—absolute abysmal! Alan’s just out here flexing like he’s got the cheat code to the universe. Meanwhile, Nick H is in a state of despair, resigned to a fate resembling a sad rom-com where the characters never kiss. So here’s to the victors, and to the losers…well, perhaps they should just stick to playing Monopoly! - Fake Commish

Weekly Awards

Big Dick Award (Most Total Points) $$

Alan 135.56

Little Bitch Award (Fewest Total Points)

Nick H 84.2

Matchups Overview

Best and Worst for the Week

Best and Worst Positions for the Week