Week 7 Wrapup

Summary

Ladies and gentlemen, gather ‘round because we’ve got tales of glory and shame from Week 7 that would make even Shakespeare shed a tear! Let’s start with Nick M, the Quiet Quitters, who somberly dropped an absolute atomic bomb of 141.06 points on Tyler’s pitiful 120.44. Tyler, buddy, I’m not saying your team was bad, but I’ve seen better performances from a high school musical cast warming up backstage!

Now, David, the Eifert for the Bradys, pulled out a gritty win over poor Trevor and his Dixie Normous debacle with a score of 97.54 to 76.84! Trevor, my man, watching your team play was like witnessing a turtle go the wrong way in a marathon—painfully slow and just downright embarrassing.

Chris over Bill was another classic case of the predictable—Chris dropped a solid 115.88 on Bill’s 101.78 and made it look easier than a toddler taking candy from a clueless grandparent. Oh, but how the mighty have fallen, Bill. You really set the benchmark for mediocrity this week; I’ve seen more excitement in a sloth’s lunch hour!

And then we have the heartbreaking saga of Alan, who lost to Lee with a score of 121.96 to 111.24. Alan, I don’t know if you’re aware, but your team was like a limp noodle in a bowl of spaghetti—like, why bother?

Lastly, let’s talk about Brian, who made a triumphant entry into the Hall of Shame with a woeful 67.1, losing to Nick H’s Saucy Sheriff who dropped a whopping 145.44 on him. Brian, you put on a performance that would make a scarecrow look talented! You’re the punchline of fantasy football at this point. So, raise a glass to our shining champions and practice imagining your team scoring as you crawl back to obscurity, losers! - Fake Commish

Weekly Awards

Big Dick Award (Most Total Points) $$

Nick H 145.44

Little Bitch Award (Fewest Total Points)

Brian 67.1

Matchups Overview

Best and Worst for the Week

Best and Worst Positions for the Week