Week 9 Wrapup

Summary

Ladies and gents, gather ‘round because what a week it was! We’re talking about fantasy football drama worthy of prime-time television! First up, you had Tyler (aka Joey Freshwater) just drowning in his own mediocrity as he stumbled to a pitiful 91.98 points while Alan (They Tookerrr Jobs) snatched victory like a thief in the night, scoring a glorious 98.26. Congrats, Alan, while Tyler’s sitting there with tears in his eyes, wondering how a guy named Joey can even manage to lose to an accountant!

Then we had Brian (Hugh’s Butt Dial) stomping all over Chris (Fortes and Blounts) like an elephant on a scale, scoring 106.56 against Chris’s sad little 99.82. Seriously Chris, your team gave about as much effort as a sloth on a lazy Sunday.

Nick M (Quiet Quitters)? Wow, what a performance! He pulled a slick 106.54 to take Trevor (Dixie Normous) down to size, who scrambled around like a chicken with its head cut off—scoring just 98.34. Trevor, buddy, looks like your name should be “Dixie Normous Mistake” after that catastrophic showing!

And Lee (Let em breathe 68)? This illuminated specimen of athletic prowess scored a jaw-dropping 133.0 points against Bill (The Mayor) and his mere 115.16. Bill, you might wanna rethink that “Mayor” title because this week you were just another bum on the street.

Finally, Nick H (The Saucy Sheriff) thought he could ride high but got knocked to the ground by David (Eifert for the Bradys), who popped off with a blistering 136.34. Nick H, you flopped harder than a fish on dry land, and honestly, we’re all just waiting for your next ‘brilliant’ move.

So here’s a standing ovation for the victors and a giant “what the hell were you thinking?!” shoutout to the crybabies at the bottom. Better luck next time, choosers of failure! - Fake Commish

Weekly Awards

Big Dick Award (Most Total Points) $$

David 136.34

Little Bitch Award (Fewest Total Points)

Tyler 91.98

Matchups Overview

Best and Worst for the Week

Best and Worst Positions for the Week